This year is our first Christmas where we have both an angel baby and a rainbow baby. It would have been Lucas’ second Christmas this year and we should have a 19 month old little boy running around trying to pull the Christmas tree down (that’s what I imagine he would be doing anyway)! It is also Emelia’s first Christmas this year which will be so nice. We’ve waited over two years now to be able to celebrate our baby’s first Christmas but we never expected it to be like this. People assume just because we have another baby now that we can enjoy Christmas again but what some people forget is that there will always be a special baby boy missing from our family at Christmas time. It would have been so special this year if he was here. He would be beginning to get a grasp of who Santa is and how magical Christmas actually is! I found this lovely photo the other day which CarlyMarie has created. She is a huge inspiration in the baby loss community so I urge people to follow her on Instagram or Facebook! Her image is taken at the beautiful Mullaloo Beach in Perth, WA. She has come up with ways for family and friends to help include our angel babies at Christmas time!
A baby’s first Christmas is an amazing time for any parent, including us! Unfortunately for us it is just a bittersweet time! Everything we do in the run up to Emelia’s first Christmas is lovely and we are creating some amazing family memories. But it is also just a huge reminder of what Lucas never got the chance to do. The magic of Christmas comes when you have your own children and he never got the chance to do so many things which I wanted to do with him including meeting Santa for the first time, enjoying the twinkly lights on the Christmas tree, making homemade Christmas cards and wearing his first Christmas outfit and sleepsuit. I know we are so so lucky now to have Emelia and we have created some amazing memories with her and done all the things we wanted to do with Lucas too ❤️ it’s just so difficult knowing one of your children will always be missing. Here are some pictures of our family Christmas memories so far with Emelia…
When I’ve been buying Emelia’s Christmas presents its a huge reminder that I can’t really buy anything for my baby boy. Maybe a plant or some flowers but that’s about it unfortunately. This year I found a lovely gift which I was going to put on a little Christmas tree for him down at his resting place but when it arrived I was so overwhelmed by how beautiful it is that it will be staying in our home instead 💙
All our children will grow up to know their beautiful big brother & every Christmas they will visit his resting place with a little gift of some sort. That will be one of our family traditions every year as it is important to us that Lucas is remembered and talked about. I came across this the other day which just summed things up for me. The beauty of unconditional love…..
Sending all my love to you all over Christmas time. I know just how hard it is for a lot of you at Christmas so I would like to wish you a gentle time & I know all our angel babies will be watching over us & joining in with the festivities. Also for the special families who haven’t had to go through baby loss I wish you all a merry Christmas too & I hope you can enjoy and appreciate every moment with your children & families.
Thanks for reading, Abi.x